Wishing I was looking from the other side...

Almost everyone in this world (well at least the world im living in now) knows what they want in life. Their answers are relatively simple, a degree, a job, a high salary, find someone they love, marry and have kids. Most people ahve their lives mapped out when they reach university and i.. am a man who despite his best efforts has not been able to see through the problem. I have not planned my life. I always tell myself the more i plan, the more problems i see will arise, so i refuse to plan. But i once read that "if you fail to plan then your planning to fail." true? possibly.

I was never the nice guy kind. I had always seen myself as a lazy fucking bastard who cant keep his mouth shut! but i also tell myself that i have to change. I am surrounded by hypocrites. I dont know why i blurted that out. Most people that are around me try to potray something about themselves that in reality isnt really them. Actors in the stage of life. hypocrites.

Who should i believe. My instinct has proven me wrong a few times. So what should i do. Despite my best efforts people has not acknowledge what i can do but prefer to focus on what i cannot do. Then there is no quality, there is no fairness....

Life is nver fair..... so stop asking it to be....

Jason Lo - Operator (the line is dead)

Jason Lo - Operator The Line Is Dead

I guess I never wanted this

Another ever-after kiss

Oh operator, the line is dead

Oh no, it's only me and all the walls

Inside my head

And for the record I was lost

With only one line I could not cross

And that's the road that takes me here

Oh no, and not again

This where I started

I need you I'm for you

You threw me I caught you

Don't leave me and say that

You want to find a way back

Believe me I followed all you said

Oh operator the line is dead

How come you never walk away

When everybody bought but I paid

You're not the one who left me here

Oh no, that was me and all the things

I wanted

But now I find you different

You broke up all the walls in my head

Please don't go

Let me near

I need you

I'm for youYou threw me I caught you

Don't leave me and say that

You want to find a way back

Believe me I followed all you said

Oh operator the line is dead

I guess I never wanted this

Another ever-after kiss

Oh operator, the line is dead

Oh no, it's only me it's only me

It's only..

A song written by our own Jason Lo. A statement of a one sided relationship and should be a reminder to al. For me, a literary work that everyone can connect to....

My fear.... Our Fears

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate
Our deepest fear is that we powerful beyond measure
It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us

You playing small does not serve the world
There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking
So that other people won’t feel insecure around you

We were all meant to shine as children do
It’s not just in some of us it’s in every one

And as we let our own light shine
We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same
As we are liberated from our own fears
Our presence automatically liberates others

(taken from coach carter)

This verse/poem/monolog was in the Movie Coach Carter. It defines myself very highly. Few reasons why I'm scared of commitment in the first place. My biggest fear is not that I am inadequate, my biggest fear is that I;m powerful beyond measure....