A letter for those i love....

Someone is probably trying to sleep as im writing this and probably that someone might get a notification saying i have a new blog. Somewhere along the road that took me where i am today. I have made mistakes and i have made a lot of people angry. Ive disappointed a few and i have neglected a few. Im sorry for that. To my friends, be spirited, be energetic, be passionate about everything in life. Even if sometimes you seem to be beaten down, neglected, take a breath and soldier on. Keep moving and keep realising that everyone has their hard times if its any consolation, Im always hoping for the best things in life for you people.

When you get what youve always wanted, be sure to remember the path that led you there so you do not stray afar from the true and main objective of your life. Remember to be humble, forgive and forget if there are mistakes and be sure to keep your head high as well so no one can push you down. Keep your head up when all around you are losing theirs, and try to find solitude amongst the people that care for you. The people that understands you. Someone once told me when youre trying to do something new, everyone is against you and it is hard, but it doesnt make it the wrong thing. I thank this man for his advice. When there is something wrong about something, voice it and suggest a solution, there is no common place other than the problem that keeps revolving around in the same place without a solution.

If you feel at one moment you can no longer trust someone youve trusted for a very long time, be disappointed but do not take the trust away, people make mistakes and somewhere along the way in life they might regain your full trust. Remember the people who've stayed beside you, in bad and good times, keep your emotions in check so you no longer feel like your losing control. Keep control, the best thing about your life is that you control it and no one else. Be sure to be confident, and also be humble, admit defeat but never give up. Accepting defeat is realization that other things are more significant but giving up means you no longer have the courage to move on in your life.

Sun Tzu said keep your enemies closer, but dont keep holding on to them, keep holding on to the friends you have and let go of the enemies. Learn from everyone and yourself, do this, then youre learning from something call life. Work hard to bridge the gaps of ideas and symbols, this way you'll be able to have the people around you with different ideas close when war is about to happen. Do not treat yourself like a soldier ready to die at any moment, but dont treat yourself life a general either coz then youd have to mind and lack the body for war.

Be judgmental when needed, but not too judgmental that you become a food critic. Be close and try to get to know the person next to you on a train. Everyone in the world has a story without anyone wanting to listen. Listen carefully to the insults and cmopliments. Try to remember the compliments and forget the insults, if succeed in doing this, tell me how you did it. Take time to acknowledge the people that worked with you without discriminating the amount of effort they put in it. If they do too little, theyll feel guilt and work harder next time, and if they do enough, theyll feel appreciated and keep the same amount of commitment next time. Give credit when its due and give credit without feeling embarass.

Acknowledge people for their good traits or try to discard their bad traits, when you begin to accept people the way they are, then they will begin to accept you as you are. Shed the tears when you feel like it, but keep it in when you feel it makes people take advantage of you. Love people who love you, and love people who hurt you to make you a better person.

Someone once asked me, "When will you change? Ive been waiting for you to change." This is one person i have disappointed, but i still hold close to my heart because the trust he put in me and how much he expected of me, my apologies for not being able to fulfill your ecpectations. Keeps these people close, its hard to find people who believe in you, and when you find one, try not make the mistake i made, disappointing them.

Believe in truth, honor, and friendship. Never betray any of these three. keep in mind you play a part in where humanity goes in the next few decades, what you do everyday determines that path humanity takes now and tomorrow.

I made a mistake of telling someone, "dont trust anyone," Im sorry, i shouldnt have broken the naive beautiful world that you hold bare in your head and imagination, never make this mistake again people. Remember to put in front what is close to you, because sometimes in our passion to chase something so far, we tend to negelect the closest things to us.

Be careful whose advice you take, but be patient to those who supply it. All advice means more than what its worth. Never make the mistake of taking it for granted.

Remember to write down what you think and feel, and pass it on to everyone, this way, the advice goes to everyone you and your friend know.
forgive and forget anything that is wrong with this personal writing. :)

The devil may cry in silence...

Its not the darkness that will rip me of my light. its not the coldness that will freeze me. Should i regret the promises i made when eveything was great. Now everything is different. I was hurt. So easily it was almost impossible....

let the times fly... leaving us and everything behind... let everything else be beautiful... let everything else be beautiful.... maybe we shared the same dreams... maybe what i felt were all lies...

i bit my lip hard and i wrap my wounds the moment you left... I strengthen myself even though your shadow haunts my dreams... now... i just wanna forget eveything.. ill wrap my wounds with my tears until they heal by themselves...

Where is true love? That used to give me tranquility.... how long do i have to wait? you left and you might never come back... and i cried and i was hurt when... you were gone... everything has passed... along with my wounds... everything that has ended... it will never again be the same...

I was the one who was weak without you... i was the one who was vulnerable because the love that was lost from you... as long as my eyes are open.. until my heart stops beating... that is how long i will keep you in my memory...

let me stay here i just want to shine your night... let me stay here to sing for you and i know youre smile is for me...

Forgive me for not understanding the meaning of your anger... trying to understand what you feel.. forgive me for coming into your life.. trying to find a crack to occupy in your heart... i know i will never be able to be the man you want me to be... but as long there is air in my breath.. ill keep trying...


These are Malay lyrics translated into English with a few adjustments made... enjoy :)

A rose for my unsung muse...

It was a long and lonely holiday as usual. My heart was only filled with a void of uncertainty. I didnt like this holiday. It was cold and lonely for me. There are certain people in life that sometimes just sticks to you. No matter how much you hurt them or ignore them (although you didnt want to) they just happen to stick with you despite everything that youve done. In a personal dinner (rare event btw) with my mom, she told me of her love relationship with my father. how it developed and how they came to understanding each other. I know one thing for sure, my dad was not an easy guy and he was lucky to have met my mom who understood every fibre of his existence without questions or doubt accepted him wholeheartedly.

People are only as lucky in fairy tales. The usual uncertain yet inaliable truth that meeting someone who is willing to accept you totally as you are and what you can or cannot do and what you want and do not want to do. These are the people you should hold onto. My mom in the middle of all her ramblings about relationship caught my attention on one particular point. "Love should never ever be associated with guilt." It caught me like athunder straight from heaven blisterring my heart. What if we already did something wrong? Do we move on? maybe we should. Moving on is the simplest thing ever to do. You close your eyes and then you forget.

The guilt i feel now is merely out of the fact that i hurt the people i love. Why? because i used to think that i was invincible (really strong not cannot be seen duh!) and that nothing could hurt me. I was afraid, scared, terrified and petrified that if i let my gurad down just a little while, letting in people, those i might trust, rely and love, when they leave, i will no longer be invicible. I will be human. A mere mortal afraid of the usual pain in life,. So i pushed the people in my life away. Those i know i could not love, i kept close, and those i knew would love me more than i can ever love myself, i push away, far far away.

My brother aked me "Is loneliness a price you are willing to pay for invincibility?" I told him, the devil has no emotion, even messengers of god has no emotion. Why? because emotion corrupts the mind. Our emotion always gets the better of us and in a moment of stupidity, we let our emotions get the better of us. Humans are stronger without emotions!!! this was my answer to him. Little that i know, i was setting myself up to be the biggest idiot in the world.

Ive let one person into my life. Someone i have held back and pushed away so many times and in so many ways, yet my "unsung muse" has stayed throughout everything.

she was there so many times before and she was always there to guide me through everything. She held my light close when i was in the dark. Thanks for always being there for me. I love you and i hope your light shines upon me forever.

p/s - This letter was written by a dolphin lover.....