Reconciliation

Reconciliation of a broken bond is probably one of the hardest things to do in life. There no speciality when it comes to sudden provocation that leads to the breaking of bonds amongst friends, peers and even closer relatives. We all agree one on matter, bonds break sometimes. They just do, they just break down in the middle of something and what seems to be the best thing about people we love and know turns into our deepest and darkest fears. We tend to realise that however we view it, that someone has become and enemy.

Elton john wrote, sorry seems to be the hardest word. Its true, in order for reconciliation to take place, its only fair that someone has to say im sorry, and this however ironic seems to be the hardest thing to do when it comes to someone. The failure to reconcile means the failure to keep a friend, to keep a loved one, to keep an idol, to keep a working partner, and above many other things the lost of yourself to your ego.

Sometimes, its get harder to say sorry depending how someone treats you. If that particular someone is able to comprehend the tenacity of saying he/she was sorry than it would things a lot easier to deal with. However, that is not always the case, the case like always seems to be that, when someone apologizes, the party sees it as a victory, sees it a sense of winning over a person. Its like this competition comparing who has the bigger ego or who has the bigger guts to keep quiet, shut up and give each other the silent treatment. Ive always told myself to always beg for forgiveness when you do something wrong. However, one can only beg for forgiveness so much in life. If it was up to me, i wanna stop telling people that im sorry. I wanna stop caring what they think and how i make them feel. At least now, for one person, i am able to do that. To not care what that person thinks of me, what that person intreprets to be a sequence of events that primarily is at fault because i did it. In Simpler terms, its always my fault.

So this is me, letting go of the past, letting go of the different and uncontrollable ego that everyone has and sometimes let loose. This is me at my worst, This me saying FUCK YOU!!! I DONT GIVE A FUCK!!!! this is my tenacity, my resolve, my blade that will cut you and smite you while this is the statement that wipes you clean of the slate of my pathetic life. The eraser of all things at fault, the deleting of sequences, and the depletion of life and fault. This is me, in my darkest time........