Reconciliation

Reconciliation of a broken bond is probably one of the hardest things to do in life. There no speciality when it comes to sudden provocation that leads to the breaking of bonds amongst friends, peers and even closer relatives. We all agree one on matter, bonds break sometimes. They just do, they just break down in the middle of something and what seems to be the best thing about people we love and know turns into our deepest and darkest fears. We tend to realise that however we view it, that someone has become and enemy.

Elton john wrote, sorry seems to be the hardest word. Its true, in order for reconciliation to take place, its only fair that someone has to say im sorry, and this however ironic seems to be the hardest thing to do when it comes to someone. The failure to reconcile means the failure to keep a friend, to keep a loved one, to keep an idol, to keep a working partner, and above many other things the lost of yourself to your ego.

Sometimes, its get harder to say sorry depending how someone treats you. If that particular someone is able to comprehend the tenacity of saying he/she was sorry than it would things a lot easier to deal with. However, that is not always the case, the case like always seems to be that, when someone apologizes, the party sees it as a victory, sees it a sense of winning over a person. Its like this competition comparing who has the bigger ego or who has the bigger guts to keep quiet, shut up and give each other the silent treatment. Ive always told myself to always beg for forgiveness when you do something wrong. However, one can only beg for forgiveness so much in life. If it was up to me, i wanna stop telling people that im sorry. I wanna stop caring what they think and how i make them feel. At least now, for one person, i am able to do that. To not care what that person thinks of me, what that person intreprets to be a sequence of events that primarily is at fault because i did it. In Simpler terms, its always my fault.

So this is me, letting go of the past, letting go of the different and uncontrollable ego that everyone has and sometimes let loose. This is me at my worst, This me saying FUCK YOU!!! I DONT GIVE A FUCK!!!! this is my tenacity, my resolve, my blade that will cut you and smite you while this is the statement that wipes you clean of the slate of my pathetic life. The eraser of all things at fault, the deleting of sequences, and the depletion of life and fault. This is me, in my darkest time........

Mr. brightside

Some of you might think that this is kind of out of date but hear me out... I am right now literary dreaming of the song Mr brightside by The killers. The song just happen to have a subtle impact of who i wanna be although some would think i'll never be able to extend myself to that extent but it is a good thing though because then i get to understand and aspire to be like him. I particularly like the line "Jealousy, turning saints into the sea, turning to sick lullabies, and choking on your alibies." for most it might seem insignificant but its true you know. Jealousy makes you do a lot of stupid things, suicide being the most sinful of sins and saints are a definite contradiction to it.

but if anything, i wanna be Mr. Brightside, the person that everyone knows am thinking about the bright side then just dwelling on the past and negative impact. A friend of mine questioned why others can do well and some cant do any better and why some can cope and why some are different. MY friends tell me, there are other things to be taken into consideration when it comes to comparing something with another thing and that is a statement i believe most would have. I understand the idea of different circumstances leading to different outcomes but i also understand that differentiation is what makes people aspire to be better. So i understand both parties on this matter, and off course i wanna take the Mr. Brightside approach. But its not possible. Its not logical, its not even right. You can please everyone as much as you want to. Its not possible. Its not even virtually possible. But most give it a shot. A friend of mine once said, you try and you fail, so what? So i guess ill give it a shot, like he said, to be a man of value.

It is safe to understand that maybe, being a man of value is harder than being a man who has success. Because today, there are very few people who have success but even fewer has value. Most successful people lack the value that makes them a better person, but most people with value might argue that value alone is a success.

I know one thing for sure, one person at least is reading this blog, and i've been thinking about how to make her understand what im trying to say. What message am i trying to point out here. I guess its simply this, im trying to be a better person, and sometimes in order to achieve that we have to stop, look back, and think what we've done in the past, then we have to understand the reality of our existence and accept the fact that sometimes, being a better person is having to backtrack yourself.

A true Mr. Brightside today is a kid age 8 years old. When you tell him that the internet is going to be down for three weeks, he'd say, nevermind, i can always watch tv. The brighter side of things i guess. So i wanna thank you all. for reading this, i hope you get the idea that there is always two sides to everything, a story has two sides, a coin has two sides, yin and yang was created to stabilize both sides. Pick the brightside of things, then maybe, maybe, youll wake every morning smiling instead of reaching for the small red pack on your table and puffing smoke hehe. Daaa...